A Weekly Ritual for Meeting Your Hidden Self
A Soul-Centered Ritual Backed by Psychology and Neuroscience
There are days when you wake up already in tears, or with an ache in your chest that has no name. You go through the motions—parenting, working, being “fine”—but deep down, something is off. You feel flooded, raw, or numb. You don’t know if it’s hormones, burnout, anxiety… or just the weight of everything left unspoken.
This ritual wasn’t born out of theory. It came from a day I couldn’t stop crying. And I couldn’t even explain why. I had done all the “right” things—gratitude lists, positive affirmations, therapy. But nothing touched the ache underneath. I felt crazy for feeling so much. I kept labeling it: Is it my cycle? Is it postpartum? Am I just not strong enough?
But what I really needed… was to stop labeling it and listen.
What I found wasn’t weakness. It was the Hidden Self—the part of me buried under years of performing, pleasing, surviving. The part that had something to say.
This ritual is how I now meet her. It’s simple, sacred, and deep. It’s become my weekly soul check-in. Like brushing your teeth—but for your inner world.
When to Use This
Use this ritual when:
You’re carrying heavy emotions but can’t make sense of them
You feel emotionally off, but don’t know why
You’re stuck in cycles of suppression, overdoing, or self-doubt
You haven’t done anything soulful or creative in days
You feel distant from your own truth or overwhelmed by who you “have to be”
This is for anyone who wants to hear their own voice again—not the critical one, but the one that knows who you are beneath it all.
Why It Matters
Because emotional overwhelm isn’t weakness—it’s a signal.
Because you can’t fix what you haven’t fully felt.
Because when you meet your hidden self, you stop running from her.
Because your sensitivity isn’t dysfunction—it’s direction.
Why it works:
Research in somatic therapy, expressive writing, and narrative psychology shows that when you intentionally engage with your inner world, your stress response lowers, clarity returns, and your brain begins to rewire how it responds to future stress (Pennebaker, Doidge, White).
The Ritual of the Hidden Self
Total Time: 45–60 minutes
Suggested: once a week
No pressure. No perfect setting. Just a willingness to show up.
1. Prepare the Space (10–15 minutes)
Find a quiet corner. Light a candle. Put on calming music if that helps. I often rub lavender lotion on my hands or hold something grounding like a warm drink or a stone.
This isn’t about aesthetics—it’s about telling your nervous system: you’re safe now.
If you're drinking your coffee, say to yourself: “I am open to what my soul wants to reveal.”
Why it works:
Creating a ritual space activates the parasympathetic nervous system (the “rest and digest” state), calming the body before emotional processing begins (Porges, 2011 – Polyvagal Theory).
2. Ground the Body (5 minutes)
Sit comfortably and take 5 deep, intentional breaths.
Try this rhythm:
Inhale: I soften
Exhale: I let go
Feel your breath drop into your belly. Feel your feet. Let yourself arrive.
Why it works:
Deep breathing reduces cortisol levels and helps regulate emotional intensity by engaging the vagus nerve (Thayer & Lane, 2009 – Neurovisceral Integration Model).
3. The Descent — Stream of Consciousness Writing (20–30 minutes)
This is where it gets real.
Write without editing. Let everything come through: emotions, memories, frustrations, desires.
Prompts to start with:
What am I carrying that I don’t need anymore?
What part of me is hiding right now?
What truth am I scared to speak?
What have I silenced in order to be “okay”?
Let the words surprise you. Let them sting. Let them heal.
Why it works:
This is expressive writing, pioneered by Dr. James Pennebaker. Research shows that writing freely about emotional experiences improves mood, reduces physical symptoms, and strengthens the immune system (Pennebaker & Beall, 1986; Pennebaker, Opening Up, 1997). It helps your brain process instead of suppress.
4. Witnessing the Self (10–15 minutes)
Read what you wrote. Slowly.
Circle or underline what stands out. Where did your voice shift? What hit your gut?
Let yourself feel it—not analyze, not fix. Just witness.
Why it works:
This is self-witnessing—used in mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT). It builds what researchers call “metacognitive awareness”: the ability to notice your thoughts without fusing with them (Teasdale et al., 2000). That’s where healing begins.
5. Integration (Optional)
If it feels right, answer these three questions:
What I’ve learned…
What I’m letting go of…
What I’m calling in…
Or record a voice memo and speak your truth out loud. Let your voice hear itself.
Why it works:
This is narrative reframing. Research in narrative therapy (White & Epston, 1990) shows that retelling your story with awareness shifts your identity. You stop seeing yourself as the problem—and start seeing yourself as the author.
This process also strengthens the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for long-term decision-making and emotional regulation (Doidge, The Brain That Changes Itself, 2007).
6. Aftercare (Always)
Drink water. Play something soft. Move slowly. Let yourself feel a little raw—because that’s what happens when truth surfaces.
Be gentle with yourself for the next 24 hours. This was deep work. This was sacred.
Why it works:
After emotional processing, your brain is in a vulnerable, plastic state. Gentle aftercare supports emotional integration and reinforces safety, which is essential for long-term healing (Siegel, 2012 – The Developing Mind).
A Real Example (The Day I Met Her)
One day, I felt emotionally unhinged. Tears all day. Nothing made sense. I kept thinking something was wrong with me. My brain tried to diagnose it—postpartum, cycle, stress. But something told me: don’t analyze. Just listen.
I sat down and wrote without stopping. What came through surprised me. I wasn’t just sad—I was suffocated. My soul hadn’t had space to breathe in days. I hadn’t written, walked, danced, dreamed. I was drowning in responsibility. And my soul? She was angry.
But underneath that anger was grief. The grief of a self who has been quiet for too long. The grief of a life spent managing instead of living. I cried hard. But this time, I wasn’t crying because I was broken. I was crying because I finally heard her.
And after that ritual, I didn’t feel fixed—but I felt found.
What the Research Confirms
This isn’t just emotional—it’s biological and psychological healing:
Expressive writing (Pennebaker, 1986) helps process stuck emotions and reduce anxiety.
Grounding and breathwork (Porges, 2011; Thayer & Lane, 2009) regulate your nervous system.
Narrative therapy and identity work (White & Epston, 1990; Doidge, 2007) literally help you rewire your brain and reclaim authorship of your story.
Self-reflection and mindfulness (Siegel, 2012; Teasdale et al., 2000) increase emotional flexibility, resilience, and long-term well-being.
Put simply: when you take an hour to meet your hidden self each week, you’re not just reflecting—you’re healing your nervous system, reclaiming your voice, and anchoring your soul.